Derringer

”I’m back in baby’s arms.

How I missed those lovin’ arms.

I’m back where I belong.

Back in baby’s arms.”

Who needs to listen to the radio, or even recorded music? Definitely not me. I always have a soundtrack of music running through my head, sometimes to the point of a single song running for well over two weeks. In particular, Facebook’s television ad featuring a man and his basset hound looking for “like” friends, to the soundtrack of Patsy Cline’s song.

Sometimes I get a perverse thrill in planting that song in friends’ heads as well. Sharing my concern of the continual Patsy Cline soundtrack with my co-workers one evening, Tim suggested singing another song, so I proceeded to pick The Monkeys’ “I’m a Believer” on YouTube. Within seconds, three of us were belting out that tune.

The plan worked for about 15 minutes. In no time, it had crawled back into my subconscious — “I’m back in baby’s arms....

As it turns out, after a little Googling, I learned I have a condition scientists call involuntary musical imagery (INMI) — a much better technical term for earworms — a condition that is likely incurable.

According to a 2012 study published in Psychology of Music, 90 percent of Finnish internet users reported getting a song stuck in their head at least once a week. The study shared that the more musical the person is, the more earworms they were likely to experience. Another report in the Journal of Consciousness Studies also called these 24/7 earworms perpetual music tracks (PMTs).

I wish there was a cure. I can wake up in the middle of the night and by the time I roll over “I’m back in baby’s arms....”

Published research in Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity and the Art found the top earworm songs include: “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga; “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” by Kylie Minogue; “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey; and “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye.

My mental soundtracks unfortunately tend to come from television ads. Prior to “I’m back in baby’s arms” was a continual loop of the Daisy Sour Cream song.

Things taste better with a dollop of Daisy. Do a dollop, do do a dollop of Daisy, do a dollop, do do a dollop of Daisy, do a dollop, do do a dollop of Daisy.

Thankfully other advertising songs that bounce around in the remaining brain cells in my cranium are one-liners — oddly with a good message. Case in point... Kroger’s newest ad — ”It’s a good day to be alive.”

Others not so welcome in my head include Pepto Bismol’s ”When you’ve got nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea,” followed by Six Flags Song based on Vengaboys “We Like to Party.” So if you’re not quite sure what the Vengaboys’ tune sounds like, I urge you to go to this YouTube site and have a listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Zbi0XmGtMw.

Hopefully now that I’ve planted at least one earworm into your brain... enjoy.

In the meantime, I’m working on removing that one dreaded song from my brain so I can enjoy the rest of the day in peace.

To cleanse my thoughts, it is suggested — try crossword puzzles, word games, or some other activity that absorbs your attention; distract oneself with a calm verbal activity such as reading out loud or having a conversation with some; play a video game; and chew gum, an online suggestion from a “professional.”

My best workable options are reading a book or watching television.

In the meantime, ”I’m back where I belong. Back in baby’s arms.”

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