Chuck Martinez-Brandon

As the temperatures climbed into the 60s on Wednesday, I could barely keep a thought in my head.

Spring is roaring into northwest Ohio, and with the warmer weather becoming a regular occurrence that means that motorcycle season will be here in a matter of days.

But sun and the thought of getting the Street Glide out of storage wasn’t the reason for my giddiness on this day.

No, I was like Ralphie awaiting the perfect present as I kept logging on to my banking app to see if my $1,400 had been officially credited to my account.

That’s right the latest round of stimulus money was on its way, and to be honest I don’t much care which president or non-president signed the bill or what party takes credit for this third windfall from Capitol Hill.

Nope, instead of worrying about if I’ll have to pay taxes on the stimulus, I turned my thoughts on the basic notion of how should I blow, I mean, spend the money.

Like many Americans, a few common thoughts ran though my mind when thinking about this third (and final?) round of money.

I wasn’t expecting this stimulus, so maybe I’ll throw caution to the wind and dump it all into the stock market.

But where?

Large caps, mutual funds, foreign markets, commodities or bonds? Or maybe I should check out who the Reddit forum investors are eyeballing this week and look to add a few zeros to my $1,400 overnight.

Or maybe its time I get with the times and go digital and dump my government money into Bitcoin.

NFL player Russell Okung recently opted to take half of his yearly salary in Bitcoin instead of Benjamins and he turned eight million greenbacks into nearly $30 million just like that.

On second thought, the stock market is a fickle mistress and if my 401K is any indication, my ability to time the market may be lacking just a bit. Not to mention, I’m not even sure what a Bitcoin is, let alone how digital money works or how to make “real” money with it. So maybe this stimulus should be used for something more fun ... something that the whole family can enjoy.

A new refrigerator door that looks like Han Solo frozen in Carbonite would seem like a reasonable buy for anyone, especially a Star Wars fan like myself. But somehow I don’t think my wife would sign off on that.

Maybe everyone would enjoy the designer toilet paper that I saw during a recent online shopping trip to WalMart’s website.

It seems like a shortage of toilet paper started this whole pandemic thing, so why not splurge on the item that was so coveted just a few short months ago?

But should I order the design that matches the walls or the shower curtain?

Scratch those too, I don’t think even Harrison Ford or Mr. Whipple would approve of the Martinez clan spending its pending windfall on those items.

Okay, back to reality.

I think I’ll follow the lead of those that took part in a recent poll that said they were going to spend their stimulus on food.

Sixty-six percent of those polled said food and filling the freezer were at the top of their list and I think I’ll start there.

Next, maybe a few bills.

Might go get that Street Glide title and bring it home by paying off the bank loan a bit early. Then, maybe we’ll pay it forward by donating some of the stimulus funds to a worthwhile local cause or leave a few tips that go beyond 20%.

And then if there’s anything left over ... do you think a painting of our dogs in Marvel superhero costumes or a Photoshop image of me scoring a touchdown at the old Texas Stadium would look better above the fireplace?

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