Crescent-News.com - Jack Palmer - Life lessons taught by a great teacher

It's difficult to write about personal subjects in a public forum, but today is different.

I need to write about my mother.

Two weeks ago, she would have turned 85. Reflecting back, she was a "people person" who was kind to everyone she met, whether they were 30 years older or 30 years younger. She faced life's ups and downs with optimism, boundless courage and a gritty determination to accomplish her goals. With a healthy sense of humor to boot.

Could it really be 35 Mother's Days since I kissed her?

The memory of her warm smile and unconditional love remains vivid in my mind. She was both immensely loving and full of high expectations for my sister and myself.

My mother was one smart woman. She was salutatorian of the DHS class of 1940, which was filled with an abnormally high number of ultra-successful people.

After marrying my father in 1943, she spent the first part of her working life as an executive secretary at All-Star Products. They were childless for nearly 10 years until I hit the scene in 1953. My sister rocked their world again 13 months later.

Despite two young children, she continued to work outside the home. By that time we lived on Stratton Street, a neighborhood filled with wonderful people " and caring babysitters.

In her late 30s, she decided to resume her career goal of becoming a teacher, a quest first put on hold by World War II and later by financial considerations.

Back in those days, non-traditional students (those over age 25) were rare. Yet she blended in naturally with her Defiance College classmates, providing many of them with wise and motherly counsel when they approached her with their "relationship" problems.

She worked hard and earned high marks, despite not having been in school for nearly two decades. She graduated in 1964, missing former President Dwight Eisenhower as the commencement speaker by one year.

"I don't care if Mickey Mouse speaks at my commencement," she quipped.
She continued her role as a loving and caring mother, providing many words of wisdom.

The single word I remember most is "Adapt." That meant rolling with the punches, especially during those inevitable times when life throws you a curve.

A few months after graduation, she landed a teaching position at the new Tinora High School. My parents only had one car, but Mom followed her own advice and adapted. She arranged to have another first-year teacher, Marv Hire, pick her up on his way.

Her four years at Tinora were special. She was an excellent teacher, but so much more to her students. She formed a special bond with many of them, perhaps in part because they saw her as a mother-type influence. Even today her former students often mention to me how she was an inspiration during their formative years.

The same was true of her five years as English teacher at Defiance Junior High School. As was the case at Tinora, she quickly befriended staff members and effectively motivated students.

During my freshman year at Ohio State, life threw her another curve. It was one helluva curve.

Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. In 1971, that was the equivalent of a death sentence. One doctor gave him 18 months, max.

There was only one thing she could do: Adapt.

Those years are a blur to me now. Constant trips to the hospital in Ann Arbor. Many drives back and forth to Columbus, trying to enjoy college life while having to grow up faster than I wanted.

My dad died on Memorial Day weekend, 1973. Two weeks later, Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Three months after that, she was terminal.

She was buried on Dec. 18, 1973 " her 30th wedding anniversary.
I suppose it is at least partly true that we don't fully appreciate something until we lose it.

But, looking back, I really don't feel cheated. I had my mother for 20 years. She taught me so much and is so much a part of who I am.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

Don't worry about me. I'm adapting just fine.