Farming is an up and down business. You need to possess a real passion for the land, an ability to weather storms and a healthy sense of humor.

I have deep admiration for farmers, especially those here in northwest Ohio. They are taken for granted and vastly underappreciated by the rest of us.

The average American farmer produces enough annual food and fiber for 144 people. Farmers and ranchers provide food and habitat for over 50 percent of the nation's wildlife.

The only problem is that my farming IQ is lower than the Cleveland Indians in today's standings.

Here's what I know.

I know that we eat chickens before they are born and after they are dead.

I know that tractors, combines and trucks often run late into the night and start up again early in the morning.

I know that good livestock farmers provide their animals with a balanced diet, shelter, routine veterinary inspection, assistance with birthing and protection from predators.

I know that playing with baby animals is a healthy form of entertainment for farm children. Lambs, piglets, ponies, calves, kids, chicks can make great pets while teaching youngsters how to care for them.

I know that country living can be a wonderful way of life, but only if your expectations are in line with reality.

I know that people need to pay attention to prevailing winds around area livestock farms before buying land.

In an effort to bolster my agricultural knowledge, I went to the library to find a book which covered basic farming.

One book caught my eye. The title was Farming for Dummies.

After a couple of hours of fervent study and intense concentration, I emerged a new man.

Here's what I learned.

A bull is the male of the cattle species, while a cow is female.

A cow generally refers to an animal which has had multiple calves. A heifer is a term for a young cow until the time she has her second calf.

A steer is a castrated bull, which for obvious reason behaves less aggressively.

A Jersey is a breed of dairy cow which originates from the island of Jersey, a British territory off the coast of Normandy, France. A small, honey-brown breed, the Jersey is renowned for the high butterfat content of its milk, as well as a genial disposition.

A kid is a young goat. I assume an old goat is called an old goat, although I couldn't find any official verification.

A male sheep is a ram, while a female is called an ewe.

This immediately raised a question in mind why the Tinora female sports teams are called "Lady Rams" rather than simply "Ewes." Lady Rams makes about as much sense as saying "Lady Bulls."

Another piece of practical knowledge I gleaned from Farming for Dummies was that it helps to know an avid farmer.

That way, in case you ever have additional questions about this noble profession, you have someone to provide the answers.

But whom could I recruit to serve as my "farming mentor?"

Immediately a light bulb came on inside my head.

Don Meyer.

Meyer retired a few years ago from the Crescent-News, but remains active in farming. He would be perfect for the job.

His idea of a "power lunch" is a sandwich on a tractor.

His idea of a "neighborhood watch" is when a neighbor calls to inform you that your heifers are loose.

His idea of dressing up is wearing a hat less than one year old and a shirt which reveals a recent oil change.

As I continue my quest for farming knowledge, with Don's occasional assistance, I will keep readers advised of my progress.

Keep me in your prayers.